I don’t care how heavy the load, I am going to try to carry it myself. I don’t know why I handle things this way, it just ends up that way. I like to think of myself as strong and able to handle anything, but that ends up getting me into trouble more often than not.
Romans 7:18 (NIV)
For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
When I have made more room for self than I have for the Holy Spirit, sin leaks from every crevice of my being. I love Romans 7:18 because it is obvious that Paul is experiencing some sort of frustration. He knows what is possible when his heart is completely directed at God. He also realizes that his heart can easily turn from God which allows sin to creep in.
Matthew 12:30 (NLT)
Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me.
When we focus on self, we are focused on the flesh, and not the Spirit. We are in direct opposition to God and what he has promised to us. No wonder we cannot carry out the good we desire to do. But is it really that simple? It should be, and that is why I get so frustrated over this.
Our brains develop mental frameworks that make processing certain things easier. This can work for us and against us. As kids, we are extremely pliable. These frameworks are not really formed yet. As we age these frameworks become more hardwired into our being. The sin that we continue to fall into becomes easier and easier to fall into because it has become more of our being. There is a framework now for that sin. At 38 years old, this is a frustrating realization for me. I want to believe that I can change anything about myself that I want to, but I am far too weak to pull that off. I like my frameworks. These schemas that are easy to repeat can work to my advantage as I can easily perform tasks that used to be more of a mental strain. There are pros and cons of aging, that is for sure.
I have read several books on the topics of how we think, how our brain works, how to rewire the brain, and more. Some suggest that medication can give us the power to change our brain. Medication would allow us to overcome some of these frameworks that we are stuck in, such as depression and anxiety. I have struggled with depression and anxiety off and on throughout my life. I believe that my depression and anxiety is very situation driven more so than an imbalance that is naturally occurring inside of me. When I allow myself to believe that there is no way I will be able to sustain the life that I know Christ wants for me, I get depressed. I allow that frustration that Paul was feeling to consume me and it’s not hard to become that frustration.
Romans 7:19 (NLT)
I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
Paul continues in his frustration by stating that he is fully aware of his sin and that he wants to do good over giving into sin. Even with that desire, he still falls. I can relate to that on so many levels.
Romans 7:23
but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.
Paul is aware, just as I am, where this struggle comes from and what to do about it. So what makes it so hard to overcome? What hope is there for us? Thankfully Paul answers that question as well.
Romans 8:1-8
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires, but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Last year I wrote about how I am my worst enemy. I discussed that giving into flesh is the cause of my moral dilemma. When I put my mind on the Spirit rather than the flesh, I am able to overcome my sin and in turn, do what I know is good rather than what I try to avoid. It really does sound simple, but it is one of our greatest lifelong battles.
My own attempts to abstain from sin seems to drive me deeper into that sin. Scripture tells me why that happens, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to flee under my own power rather than taking a moment to place myself into the arms of a loving Father who simply asks us to rely on him over trying to go at it alone. It sounds so simple.
So what is stopping me? What is stopping you? What can we do to rewrite the frameworks that make our sin so easy to fall into so that in times where we need it most we are able to hear the Holy Spirit instead? It comes down to what we consume. When I am consuming God’s word constantly, it is what feeds me. When I am not in God’s word, I am fed by everything else which are triggers to the frameworks I want to avoid. It is easy to get depressed over this and stay in a state of frustration, but we simply can not do that because we have been given the remedy. It is up to us to take it as prescribed in the Word of God.
